Month 5!

Did 'Month 5' already come and go?!? I feel like I haven't even had a chance to blink yet and we are only 12 days away from Landon being 6 months old!

Landon is getting to be so much fun now as his personality continues to develop into the sweet smiley little boy he is! He is quite the chatter box too as he's discovered his voice and it is so fun to babble back and forth with him! Sometimes it actually sounds like he is saying some words too... we think "mama" will come first as he is really good at going "mmmmmma!" We shall see though, I hear that babies tend to say "dada" first... so not fair!

This past month certainly was a doozy at times! We had our share of visits to the pediatrician this month for an assortment of things: ear infection, thrush, reflux, etc. Those few weeks (yes, weeks!) were so unpredictable, but I'm happy to say that it seems like the brunt of it is behind us. Turns out our little man has a mean case of silent reflux and without a doubt the same witching hour at 5 o'clock on the dot no matter how happy he is just a few minutes beforehand. No matter what though this is by far the greatest experience of our lives and we are so glad this little boy is ours!

LANDON LOVES...
... his bunny blanket, so soft and silky, and loves rubbing it with his hands and on his face
... playing with his hands and holding his fingers
... playing "row row row your boat" sitting on mommy's legs
... football Sundays with daddy
... hearing new voices and seeing new places

LANDON CAN...
... talk and talk and talk, such a chatter box at times!
... hold onto his toys and other objects
... spring up with his legs
... laugh a little like a small chuckle, still waiting for that big ol' baby belly laugh!

Although my post is late, this picture was taken on his 5 month birthday! Pardon the pants... he was in an awkward stage at that time... 3 month pants were too small but 6 month pants were way too big! At least his socks stay on now!

Up next for us next week is Landon's 6 month NICU developmental follow up appointment... eeeek! I am so excited but am already getting nervous! I think I am more nervous for me rather than Landon because I have already started to become emotional about it! Fingers crossed for all of us! :)

Late post... 4 Months Old!

Wow, another month down! Landon hit his 4 month mark on September 25 and also celebrated his 2 month adjusted milestone on October 3 as well! We are enjoying the new adventures of parenthood and can't believe how quickly he is already growing up. Landon has really matured over the last month as he is now becoming more active and alert to new sounds, toys, etc.  Here are some of his 4 month highlights...

LANDON LOVES...
... learning the eagles fight song
... kicking his legs
... pulling on mommy's hair and daddy's t-shirt
... watching his mobile in his crib
... playing with his music box/piano
... hearing the silly noises mommy and daddy make to catch a smile

LANDON CAN...
... bear weight on his legs (assisted of course)
... blow bubbles
... sleep 5.5 hours through the night
... SMILE!
... some babbling
... find his hands

We also decide to take his monthly photo shoot outdoors due to the beautiful fall weather and... besides the 5 minutes that Hunter stole his hat and was running around the yard with it... we had a great time!

"you're really making me do all this, mom?!"

Landon's reaction to the Eagles last Sunday

Happy 3 Months!

We can hardly believe it, but our little Landon turned 3 months on Monday!

Preemies are often referred to two different ages that help track their developmental growth: their "actual" age (date of birth) and their "corrected" or "adjusted" age (due date). Although Landon just turned 3 months, his adjusted age is only 3 weeks old. We have been quite impressed with Landon's strength and determination to develop into the little boy he is becoming. He is now over 3x the size of what he was when he was born, weighing in at 9lbs 6oz and 20.5 inches long!

Here are some of his 3 month highlights...

LANDON LOVES...
... tummy time
... bath time
... getting his toes licked by Hunter
... dancing with mommy & daddy
... being pampered during his baby massage
... his MyPal Scout and his Sleep Sheep
... looking at ceiling fans and lights

LANDON CAN...
... hold his head up while on his belly
... roll from belly to back
... track toys/objects with his eyes

We are looking forward to seeing him smile, hearing him laugh, and watching him grab his toys... these are the next milestones that seem to be near!

Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk... Oh, But I Did!

I always thought I was a decent multi-tasker, but I didn't understand the true concept until we settled in at home with Landon.  It has been such an experience learning how to juggle everything, especially when Lance is at work during the day.  The biggest task and possibly one of the most important one has been the biggest target of multi-tasking in its prime... pumping.  I am usually strapped up while cleaning bottles, feeding Landon, brushing my teeth, eating (sometimes cooking too)... I feel like I have really become the pro, but every once in a while there is a slip up or minor spill that will really put me in check.

During our NICU stay, pumping was like my saving grace.  As difficult, painful and frustrating it was at times, it was the only thing that I could physically do by myself to care for Landon since his birth.  It kept me sane while waking up every few hours in the middle of the night to ensure that I could bring a supply into the hospital the next day for Landon.  The middle of the night pumping sessions also gave me a chance to continuously check in on Landon by calling the nurses to check in on every milliliter he had at his feeds while keeping my fingers crossed that they would tell me no brady's and minor desats.  Often times a heart to heart with his primary took place as well.  My pumping times then were mostly uninterrupted, which was great because all the research and articles suggest that you need to take a break during this time in order to maintain a good supply,  but what a different story it is here at home.  Take a break???... ain't nobody got time for that!  Which leads me to the title of this post...

It started out as a normal day with me managing all the nighttime feedings so Lance can get as much sleep as possible to be productive at work.  Usually after Landon's morning feed I will still kangaroo with him on my chest as we both rest our eyes.  Feeding, changing diapers and cuddling always trumps when I need to pump, but as the time passed I realized it had been much too long since I last pumped.  So I set Landon in his mamaroo, Hunter was snoring in his crate (he seems to be more tired than Lance and I combined), and Kelly & Michael were on TV... the ideal scenario to have a relaxing pumping session.  So there I go pumping away in a daze from the previous nights exhaustion.

After a short while I knew my time was almost up as Landon was starting to squirm, but I tried to hold off as long as I could to get a good session in.  I began to call it a wrap, which is where it all went wrong... very quickly!  As I was removing the pump it became very apparent that the bottle wasn't secure as the bottle with about 110 mls (almost 4 oz) fell and poured all over my lap!  I quickly fumbled to pick it up and sighed after realizing I only saved about 60 mls (2 oz), but at least I was able to save some of this liquid gold!  I tried to compose myself despite my soaking wet lap and placed the bottle on the coffee table... well the terror continued as our coffee table made of slate tiles doesn't have a completely smooth surface and the bottle toppled over again... my hands began to shake at this nightmare and I was finally able to steady it on the table.  While this is all taking place, Landon began to cry and Hunter woke up to figure out what all the commotion was... I may or may not have let out some explicit phrases as well which probably drew more attention to this disaster.  So I quickly removed the other pump with my quivering hands and what do you know that one topples on the uneven surface as well!  Now I am desperately fumbling, Landon is screaming, and the dog is now at my feet trying to lick it all up!  I rush to just grab both bottles, run them to the kitchen to put them on the safe counter, and sprint back to find the biggest disaster of spilt milk... you know the cereal commercials of the kid trying to pour some milk out of a gallon container into their bowl and it just goes all over the table and floor... well that was a spitting image of what took place in our living room during what I thought would be a "relaxing" pumping session!

As I was cleaning everything up, my hands were still shaking in disbelief and I was a sobbing mess!  This was hard earned milk, just wasted... and now the saying, "don't cry over spilled milk" has a whole new meaning to me as an exclusively pumping mom!

Happy Due Date!

August 3rd will always have a special meaning to us.  Today should have marked Landon's anticipated due date, yet he is already 10 weeks old. 

Looking back on our journey to get to where we are today I will always cherish this experience and will always hold all of its memories so close to my heart... from his first fighting days to the first time holding him, our first diaper change and night-time bath routine, falling asleep to the sound of his CPAP during kangaroo care, feeling the first grasp of his fingers, seeing his eyes open for the first time, seeing his first outfit, growing out of his preemie clothes, all of the 3am phone calls checking on him while pumping, finding friendly faces in the lactation lounge or the isolette nearby, our primary nurses, my supportive and loving husband, participating in rounds, anticipating the results from every blood-draw/ultrasound/xray, having my good days, feeling like my body failed him, feeling robbed out of the pregnancy that I just had begun to embrace, feelings of hope, every gram, every milliliter, every tear, every smile, watching him grow, seeing his strength, knowing he is a fighter and above all believing in him and knowing that he is perfect.

This experience has been like no other, but I wouldn't change a single thing.  We are so blessed to have witnessed a miracle grow right before our eyes with such an amazing transformation.  Landon has overcome a remarkable journey in his own life and I hope that one day he will know how special he truly is.  We are so blessed with our healthy baby boy and we look forward to every day, every new milestone, every new memory.

So as we have finally made it to his full-term date, I want to take this moment to thank you all again for the tremendous amount of support we have been so fortunate to receive.  We have received an overflowing amount of love and encouragement from everyone near and far, from the closest of friends and family to those that we haven't spoken to in years.  It amazes me to this day how blessed we are to have you all in our lives.  So thank you once again for all of the prayers, positive thoughts, calls, texts, visits, meals, cookies, flowers, cards, etc., and of course for following our blog!

So with that said, Happy 40 Weeks our little Landon!  There is more love for you in this world than you know! xoxo!

Settling in at Home!

I can't believe it has been so long since our last post... I guess time has gotten away from us since Landon has been home!  Between all the snuggle sessions, bottle feeding, pumping, diaper changes, sleeping, etc., I guess the last thing on our mind is updating the blog.  We have definitely been taking advantage of all of the snuggle sessions now that he is in our home away from the tiny hospital crib, wires and monitors!  Landon is now spoiled because of it and when he cries 9 out of 10 times its because he just wants to be held so let's just say we are catching up for all the snuggling we lost out on while he was in the NICU. :)

I guess I will pick up where Lance left off... I'll try to be quick!

The night before Landon was discharged I decided to stay the night in the NICU's mothers room so I can have a night of "practice" with his care throughout the night.  The room was nothing special, but it was incredibly special to me that I was able to care for my son through the night for the first time of his life.  Just knowing that I was there under the same roof was an amazing feeling.  That night Landon had his last bath and final weigh in at the hospital... he tipped the scale at 6 pounds, which was another huge milestone!

The next morning I headed home in order to make our final trek to the hospital together to bring home our little guy.  I think Lance would agree with me that our discharge day certainly ranks up there to be one, if not the best day of our lives, even above our wedding day and the day he was born!  We were so anxious and excited, but were filled with nerves.  It was also such a bittersweet feeling as the NICU became our second home and the nurses and other mommies became our second family.  To leave all of their support and what grew to be the comforting sounds of the monitors was somewhat scary... "this is it", "can we do this", "will he be okay" were phrases on repeat in our heads all day long.  Lance was also trying to stay calm to get ready for our first drive with Landon on the Schuylkill for our final drive from the hospital.  I have to admit that I still to this day have not been the driver with Landon in the car just yet!  Nonetheless, we made it and we are thriving here at home!

I have to mention this as it is so fitting that we ended our NICU journey being discharged by another Dr. Dennis!  Things like this really make be believe that the world works in mysterious ways.  To make it even better, they looked very similar to one another and even sounded alike too!

We've had a few doctor's appointments since being home too.  We had our "newborn" checkup at the pediatrician two days after discharge and had to return a week later for a weight check to ensure that he was steadily gaining weight with the transition at home.  We also needed to get a blood test for Landon to check on his hemoglobin and reticulocyte counts again... we STILL need to get this done as we've been to Quest twice now and the results have come back with an insufficient amount.  The poor little thing has gotten his heel pricked and had the technicians squeeze blood out of his heel twice without any luck.  We are heading to Phoenixville Hospital's NICU this week in order to get this taken care of as we think they will be more equipped to handle an infants blood-draw.  Landon also had another eye exam as his retinas are still forming.  They are still not quite where they need to be yet, but it is typical due to his prematurity so we have another appointment later this month and we are hoping that his retinas and blood vessels will be fully formed by then.

We've also been enjoying many strolls in the neighborhood, especially with the incredible weather we had last week!  The first few days it was a bit too bright for Landon, but unfortunately these shades were still too big!  I think Landon can double as Carlos from the Hangover...

Hunter-boy is adjusting very well to being the older brother.  He absolutely adores Landon and would do anything for another chance to lick Landon's little feet.  He is so well behaved with Landon and we couldn't be more proud of him either!

Since we've been home, we've had a few more milestones take place too... Landon celebrated his two month birthday, he began to lift his head on his own and drove right passed the 7 pound mark!

Unfortunately this is the best picture I got of him with his blocks - the poor little guy was exhausted from the photoshoot we did!

He is so strong already! He loves to look all around and especially likes looking at the ceiling fan and skylights in the living room!

I can't even believe how big he is now! His cheeks are too cute!

I could go on forever, but I will save some for next time! xoxo!

Day 50 and one step closer!

Hi everyone!  Happy Monday and I hope everyone had a great weekend! Today is Landon's 50th day in the ICN at the Pennsylvania Hospital!  It was also a memorable and happy day today as we found Landon is currently scheduled to be discharged from the hospital on Wednesday!!! 

I still cannot believe Landon could be home this week, and it still feels surreal that we are having our little guy home finally after seven plus weeks in the hospital!   He has held up his bargain so far and has fought his way doubling in size, having stable vitals, and drinking milk like a champ!  Even though Landon has been doing great after removing his oxygen, the reason we have been sticking around the past couple weeks was because he had to 'master' drinking from his bottle.  Little did we know that would become probably the hardest challenge for Landon and preemies in general.  The hospital is quite the stickler when it comes to feeding times with the babies and they have the right to be because it can become the most stressful part of having a newborn.  You want to make sure they eat so they grow and especially for preemies, they need to make sure they don't choke while breathing!  

Landon is now becoming the 'feeding pro' in the nursery and his cribmates next to him are now just realizing how difficult it is to drink from a bottle.   The hospital requires the babies to feed almost perfect for 5 days consecutively or around 35 feeds in a row.  If a baby brady's (low heartrate), or has a large 'desat' (low o2 levels), then you need to restart the 5 day countdown.  So we have had the countdown restart on us a few times, but Landon has gone Friday through Monday doing great drinking from his bottles so that is why the hospital is planning for Wednesday discharge.  He is up to almost 3 ounces a bottle every 3-4 hours now which is awesome and has been gaining weight quickly as well...he is up to 6 lbs 1oz already (~3 weeks to go to due date too)!  In preparation for coming home, we also chose to have his 2 month vaccinations at the hospital to ensure that he doesn't have any allergic reactions.  We are keeping our fingers crossed that he continues to do well tonight and tomorrow so he can come home....we're very, very close!

Below are some fun-facts from our experience:

• 5,172 miles and counting so far to and from the hospital between LeighAnn and I
• Of the total miles driven....3, 232 miles driven just on the Schuylkill Expressway alone
• Over 172 hours driving to see Landon...and worth every second!
• Over 500 hours between LeighAnn and I at the Pennsylvania Hospital (our second home)
• Over 20 different nurses and 5 doctors that have taken cared of our little guy

Now that our journey is nearing the end of the road at the NICU... we are very, very grateful that our story will have a happy ending!   We will continue to update the blog every so often with progress updates, doctor updates, and developmental milestones.   LeighAnn and I never did exactly explain why we decided to blog.  We decided to 'blog' because we knew in our heart Landon was a fighter from day one, and we wanted to share the experiences and knew our story could help others in a similar situation.  If you remember from a previous blog, 1 in 10 babies are born premature and surprisingly the number is slightly rising.   The chances are that someone reading our blog will know of a co-worker, friend, neighbor or family member that may be going through a similar experience.   We wanted to have the privilege to share our story through the blog to help ease their concerns and fears.     

I also want to take this time to thank every single person out there that has supported us through this experience.  We have been blessed to receive meals, gifts, and messages of support through the past 50 days.  It was amazing to see our friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors help us in a time of need.  Every little thing that someone did for us such as make us a meal, buy Landon a gift, message of encouragement, or just make us smile helped brighten our day just a little bit.  These unselfish acts of kindness go a long way and has opened our eyes even more from this experience.   Landon, LeighAnn and I are not completely sure how we can ever repay our appreciation but we promise to continue to go out of our way to help our friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors in a time of a need.  Everyone in their life needs that extra boost to help them get through some difficult times and all of you have done that for us...we want to say Thank You!!!

We are hoping next blog post will be a fun one with sharing our experiences with Landon at home!!

Here's a few pictures!!  Also, I am hoping to post a small video/collage of our little guy Landon next week.  

  

43 Days and a Light at the End of the Tunnel!

Today marked Landon's 43rd day of life and we cannot believe how far he has come!  This journey has been so surreal for us and we are finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  It has felt like a lifetime, but also has seemed to go by so quickly too... perhaps that's due to the fact that the days have all begun to blur together.  Despite the challenges and obstacles we have faced bringing new life into the world, we are so blessed with Landon and it has been totally worth it all.  With each day getting better, Lance and I are itching to get our little boy home!

Speaking of the days feeling like a blur... I was reviewing the last blog entry to check what milestones were made since then and I can't believe so much has happened since last Sunday!  He is really making great strides and I am beginning to see the difference each day as he continues to grow and get stronger.  So where do I begin to catch up...

Last week we started to discuss getting him transferred back to Phoenixville, but decided to stay put at Pennsylvania Hospital.  In the end, we felt most comfortable there, but it didn't help that the Phoenixville ICN doctor was no longer working there and as of July 1 the hospital would no longer be affiliated with CHOP as they were transferring practices to Dupont down in Delaware.  With those things considered, it definitely weighed our decision to stick around in Philly a bit longer.

Even with our decision to stay, it had almost felt like we experienced a transfer since Landon was moved to the transitional nursery in the ICN on July 1.  The transitional nursery is for babies who are around the 35 gestational week mark and who essentially are no longer considered critical care.  Most of the babies in this nursery are "feeders and growers", with the occasional brady here and there.  This nursery is so calm and quiet compared to our former nursery.  We used to be the calmest baby in the other nursery and now I'm pretty sure Landon's monitor makes the most noise with all of his desats!  It took some getting used to being on the other side of that equation once again, especially now with a whole new group of primary nurses to work with too.

When we first moved to the transitional nursery, Landon was just beginning to experiment with bottle/breast feeding.  He still had the feeding tube in and was only feeding by mouth about 4 times per day.  His first full day in the new nursery, "Master Landon" (as one of our former nurses liked to call him) kept pulling out his feeding tube and began calling the shots like he did with the ventilator and CPAP machines.  The nurses determined he was doing well enough with his "po feedings" (by mouth) that as long as he continued to do so they would keep the feeding tube out.  Sure enough he did and is now eating all of his meals by mouth and is chowing down on about 60 mls per feed!  This is the last picture I took of him with his feeding tube still intact:

A day or so after that, things started to look great as the nurses and doctors were beginning to prep everything of his for discharge.  He had his circumcision performed and had his car seat test.  The car seat test is a measure to make sure that the premature babies can withstand their normal heart-rates, respiratory rates and oxygenation levels in an upright position.  Landon passed... unfortunately not with flying colors, but enough to get by.  We felt like that was it as the nurses were talking like it would be "just days" before going home!  Here is a picture of our tiny nugget getting situated for his car seat test:

Landon was still experiencing some blue-spells during his feedings so after making our way into the holiday weekend we knew it wasn't his time yet.  As each day passed, we saw significant improvement with how he performed while eating.  His blue-spells occurred less frequently and his oxygen saturation rate remained in normal ranges for the better portion of the feeds.  Despite not making it home that weekend, our biggest victory was him hitting the 5 pound mark on the 4th of July! Such a huge milestone for our little 2lb 15oz newborn!

Within the last day, we even got to see some personality of our little guy yesterday when we ran out of fresh breastmilk and the nurses needed to defrost a bottle from the stash I built up in the freezer.  Boy did he not like the defrosted bottle though!  As hungry as he was by showing all of his feeding cues, he would cry and scream and even spit out any of the milk as soon as it touched his lips!  Fortunately enough, it just must've been an odd batch as he finally accepted another bottle later that night (thank goodness because we had just purchased a freezer chest to store all of the milk here at home)!

So back to the hospital we go for another week or so, but all in all, there is finally a light at the end of this journey's tunnel.  We are not sure of the exact timeframe as it is truly up to "Master Landon"... apparently he makes all the rules at the hospital, but boy do we have news for him as that is going to change real quick!  Who am I kidding?!? This little boy has Lance and I wrapped around his tiniest of fingers already! :)

I think I've caught you all up for now... thank you once again for your continued positive thoughts, wishes and prayers!  Keep your fingers crossed as we begin to prepare for Landon's trek home!

One Month Milestones

Landon had a fabulous week this week reaching many milestones and celebrating his one month birthday!  I couldn't help myself by bringing in our blocks to stage a few sleepy pictures with him so I wouldn't miss his first month picture, despite him being in the hospital.

Landon began experimenting with "po feeding" (a NICU term for 'by mouth' - I believe the po origin is Latin).  He really impressed all of us as he was a champ with his bottle feeds.  The first one he only finished about half of his feed (17 out of 34 mls) and since then he's been finishing the full bottles which are now 38 mls.  He is using the bottle about 4 feeds per day as he still requires the feeding tube so he doesn't exert too much energy so that he will continue to gain weight.  Lance and I are still getting the hang of feeding Landon the bottles and burping him afterwards.  In handling a preemie with feeds it can be pretty stressful as he is still hooked up to all of the monitors and he is still working on his coordination of sucking, swallowing, breathing all together.  As if feeding your baby for the first time isn't stressful enough, earlier this week Landon would continue to brady and desat while I was breast and bottle feeding him.  So I've quickly learned to ignore the monitors (to some extent) and purely watch his signals.  This has been a great technique because I am learning his triggers such as the colorization of his skin and his movement during when he begins to stop breathing or just needs a break to catch up a bit. 

In my last post I mentioned a few tests that he would have this week as well.  He did great during all of them and we are so proud of the progress he has made.  The eye exam came back as expected for his gestational age - his eyes are still immature, but there are no signs within the blood vessels and retina that he will have any issues.  He will have continued eye exams every two weeks until he reaches full-term.  Additionally, the brain ultrasound came back very positive... no brain bleeding and all of the structures and formation look strong as well.  He also had a hemoglobin test this week to determine if he has the appropriate amount of reticulocyte in his blood - this test can only be done after 30 days of age as it takes some time for it to show up in the bloodstream.   The reticulocyte is the content that enables him to produce the necessary blood counts on his own and the lack of it is what had caused him to be anemic.  His numbers looked great and in turn we have seen a drastic difference with his anemia this week.  His skin is pinker and he gets feistier when he doesn't like something (like getting his temperature taken, wiping his hiney, or a poopy diaper).  They say he will eventually grow out of the anemia, but due to him having great numbers of the reticulocyte there is no need for a blood transfusion! 

Landon is continuing to pack on the pounds too!  He is now 4 pounds 6 ounces, such a big boy now!  You can really see the difference as he is filling out.  He now has the cutest double chin and has already outgrown most of his preemie clothes!  He wore newborn size clothes last night... he is swimming in it, but nonetheless it is still such a great milestone!  They say that now with his chubby cheeks that he is beginning to look like me... what is that supposed to mean!?!  Just kidding, I think he is actually starting to look more like me too!

 

Landon's primary goals are to feed and grow at this point which is great progress from just a week ago.  Lance and I are starting to discuss the possibility of transferring him back to Phoenixville Hospital again so that he can be closer to home.  This will help significantly to allow more time for us to be there, especially for Lance and especially for me to be there more frequently throughout his feeding times throughout the day.  We are torn with this decision though as we have grown so comfortable with the nursing teams and all of the support and resources that we have at Pennsylvania Hospital.  It will also be bittersweet to leave his primary nurse, Leah.  She has been so amazing and I remember just weeks ago crying to her on the phone checking on his status in the middle of the night and just last night we were chatting about what to do when Landon comes home.  She is so positive and genuinely cares about Landon and even our well-being too! 

Speaking of transferring and possibly being one step closer to discharge... Lance and I went to dinner Thursday night to PF Changs.  It was a nice change from the hospital cafeteria and trying to scrounge up any sort of left overs in the fridge for dinner.  At the end of our meal we opened up the fortune cookies and this is a picture of the one I got.  I am just so hopeful that this is referring to when Landon comes home!

Fingers Crossed!!!

4 weeks old already, how did that happen?!?

What a big difference one week can make! This weekend was night and day compared to last weekend.  We are happy to see more progress again!  We can hardly believe it, but Landon is now 4 weeks old (34th gestational week) and will be celebrating his 1 month birthday on Wednesday!

Landon seems to be controlling his brady's much better now than last week.  Over the past 72 hours he has only been having about 3-4 brady's per day and for the most part he can recover from them on his own.  His brady's seem to be occurring most either during or slightly after his feeds, which the nurses believe they are related mostly to reflux.  Overtime this is something he should be able to outgrow as he continues to develop the coordination with breathing and eating at the same time.

With the patterns of his brady's at feeding times, the nurses seem to be less alarmed about the brady's being a result of his anemia.  The doctors are still monitoring his anemia, but most likely the blood transfusion won't need to take place.  If any brady's occur that aren't related to feeds and require strenuous stimulation then the possibility of needing it will come back onto the table.  Although the blood transfusion sounds like such a negative procedure, there are a lot of benefits of it for preemies - I just wanted to mention this because I think it sounds a lot worse than what it actually is.

It also seems like Landon has officially graduated from the isolette as he has been able to maintain his own body temp on his own since Thursday night.  He also has been slowly gaining more weight and he is now 4 pounds 2 ounces!

We also enjoyed some time with some visitors over the weekend.  Different than last weekend, we spaced everyone out on different days as Landon seems to react to a lot of activity, so Popi and Mimi visited on Friday, Gigi and Dziadz on Saturday and Mom-mom and Aunt Heather on Sunday.  It worked out really well and it was nice having some special one on one time with everyone.

Coming up this week is a big week for Landon as he is going to have a couple tests take place.  He will be having an eye exam to check for his retinal development and overall vision.  We are hopeful that the eye exam will go well as whenever his eyes are open he seems to do a good job at focusing and he also reacts to light as well.  Landon will also be having another ultrasound of his brain to check for any continued brain bleeding and overall brain development.  He scored really well on this the first two times so we are hopeful the results will come back positively again as well.  Also a big week for us too as we have classes at the hospital for ourselves, including Infant CPR and Baby Care Basics.  Although we are getting comfortable with diaper changes and the occasional bath, there is still so much more for us to learn and we will take all of the practice we can get before he is all ours at home for good!

Our wide-eyed little monkey!

Looking good in daddy's arms!

Still loving kangaroo time!

Rollercoaster of emotions

It is so hard to think that a little over a week ago I was writing about the remarkable progress our little guy was making... after some great strides earlier last week, we thought that he would be on the up and up from there!  During the very short-lived high, we were able to see him outside of his isolette in a crib and not needing his oxygen cannula - we even started discussing the possibility of transporting him back to Phoenixville too!  Landon started to act out with an increase in brady events (heart rate drops) and desating very frequently (poor oxygenation), so the oxygen cannula and isolette quickly returned.  It took the nurses a few days to balance his oxygen in order to stabilize his breathing and we are still trying to minimize his bradys.  In trying to remain positive, I like to think this was Landon's way of being the boss the nurses say all NICU babies are by letting them know that he wasn't ready for all of that just yet.

As parents watching his events and experiencing the few steps backward really plays with your emotions.  We also began realizing that a couple of the nurses caring for Landon didn't fully support the quick decisions to get him off the oxygen and caffeine immediately and at the same time as one another at that.  Noticing that the nurses were not on the same page has been very frustrating for us.  It is a tough position to be in because clearly Lance and I are not the medical experts; however based on the quick changes and Landon's response to those changes it seemed like common sense to us that it was too much too soon for him rather than just making gradual changes... however there is very minimal input we can provide as these decisions are being made during the doctors rounds.

So as of this morning, Landon is still experiencing significant brady events that require some sort of stimulation to get his heart rate and breathing back to the normal ranges again.  It makes your heart sink when you witness these events as his face will turn a blueish color, the monitors begin alarming at a much louder and faster rhythm than the normal sounds of the machines we have gotten used to, and several nurses rush over to help despite who is actually assigned his care that day.  During Landon's first two weeks, he would only experience about 2 bradys in a day, none of which required the extra stimulation.  Now he is up to about 10 with a few that require stimulation, so we are trying to figure out why he seems to be regressing.

After not making any significant changes to medical plans over the past few days and not seeing much progress on his own, the nurses are discussing the possibility of Landon needing to be back on the caffeine as well as planning to solve for his anemia.  To solve for the anemia, he may need a blood transfusion in order to increase his blood count so then he will not have to work as hard to produce it on his own so then he can focus on stabilizing first as his most immediate goal.  We have also been told that the bradys may be a result of the anemia so in turn the transfusion may help solve for the brady events as well.  As hard as it is to know our little guy may need a blood transfusion, we are hopeful that this may help him become more stable again.

Lance and I are just wishing and waiting for the day that his only NICU goal will be to feed, grow and go home.  The past few days with the ups and downs have been very difficult and we want nothing more than for Landon to be stabilized.  We hate to feel like we are trying to rush his progress though as we know everything takes time, especially considering that he should still be in utero for another 6.5 weeks.  Patience is something that we are learning is one of the most important qualities to have as a NICU parent... and let's just say we are working on that!

On another note, I've been meaning to share this story... I was talking with my sister, Liz, earlier in the week just chit-chatting about the weekend, her birthday plans, etc. and for some reason we started talking about church.  She attends The Rock Church in San Diego - she has grown really fond of this church as the services are always inspiring, dynamic and interactive.  On Sunday she was part of a group that volunteered during mass to share their recent experiences in which they needed to ask God "what do you want me to do", which was the message of the service that day.  She shared with the group some of her personal situations, including Landon's early arrival, that had her reaching our to God more frequently.  Liz mentioned to me how at first she was wary about volunteering to step up in front of the entire church, but how glad she was that she did based on what happened at the end of mass.  The pastor always ends service with a community prayer, but this time he added a special prayer specifically to those who volunteered.  During the closing prayer, he made a strong emphasis on our little Landon praying for his continued development and long-term health.  Liz was amazed to hear her nephew, Landon, being mentioned for everyone to pray for and how much joy it brought her.  To think think that prayers for Landon are coming all the way from San Diego from people with little to no connection to our lives is absolutely astonishing and brings tears to my eyes at every thought of it!  As Lance mentioned in his last post, we are incredibly thankful for all of the continued thoughts and prayers, words of encouragement, helping hands, etc that are supporting us so greatly.  We could not do this without you all and everything means more to us than you know!

Landon is praying, too!

The Up's and Down's of the NICU and Fatherhood!

I know LeighAnn has been writing the last few posts so it's my time to give this blog thing a whirl again.  First off I would like to wish every dad out there a Happy Father's Day!  It was a beautiful day out there, and I hope everyone took advantage of it.  I know this can sound cliche but I want to say thanks to my dad who has made me who I am today.  There is no way I would be in the position where I am today in life without his help.  Every challenge that has ever faced my life, he is always right there and I know I can always count on him.  I hope I can help out Landon as much as my dad has helped me throughout my entire life.

There are a lot of things I have learned throughout the years from my dad such as dedication, hard work, and the value of family, but the one that sticks out the most is his unselfishness.  Whenever you have a conversation with him, he quickly turns the conversation to see how you are doing and you come out of that conversation feeling good about yourself no matter what situation you may be in.  That unselfishness is something I try to continue to remind myself to give to others on a daily basis.  If you sit and think about the family members and friends that mean the most to you, I bet the ones that mean the most to you are the ones that are willing to listen to you first rather than boast about their personal life.  So as I sit back here on my first father's day, I promised myself that I would always be there for Landon no matter what and continue to try to be the best father for him.  So again, Happy father's day to everyone!!

As LeighAnn had mentioned in her previous post, we had an amazing baby shower last weekend!  It's amazing all of the family and friend support we received last weekend, and we cannot say thank you enough for everyone that attended and those who could not and sent us something special for Landon.  At least from my point of view, showers don't always seem to be the most exciting things in the world, but in our case it meant the world to us.  I know LeighAnn will be writing a personalized thank you note, but to everyone who attended, thank you for helping make the day something special for LeighAnn and Landon. 

Ok, I guess it is that time to get to Landon and how he has been doing.  Last time LeighAnn wrote in the blog, he had just gotten off his CPAP machine, still in the incubator, and was on his small oxygen cannulas 2% pressure to help out his breathing.  He was also at 3lbs 2oz earlier in the week and his bradycardia "brady" events were very low or minimal.  Everything was progressing perfect at that point and we were feeling absolutely great!

Once Thursday came, the doctors decided to try remove his oxygen cannulas altogether and try to do some breathing on his own!  We were warned that there would be a good chance he would have to come back on the oxygen.  He was doing well on his own on Thursday with some "bradys" but nothing to be too concerned about.  LeighAnn and I were quite excited to see him breathing on his own at 32.5 gestational weeks at this point.  The good news just kept coming to us on very early Saturday morning when they let us know they moved him out of the incubator into a crib.  So LeighAnn and I headed down there once we woke up to see our little guy's progress.  It felt so great that he was just like a normal little boy in his crib with no oxygen.  Also, they had removed his caffeine intake (the caffeine triggers endorphins that remind the brain to continue to breathe) which was more good news.  We also started thinking about getting him transferred closer to home since it seemed more practical in getting him to learn how to feed.   It was quite amazing at this point, we were riding a high as parents and felt like Landon could do anything at this point!  

Reality began to set in on Saturday afternoon,  Landon was beginning to struggle breathing after a few days being off the oxygen and his bradycardia events began popping back up more frequently than his usual self.  Our short lived bliss had ended, he had to get back on the oxygen cannulas to 2% pressure and back into the incubator.  It's hard to explain what exactly you feel as parents, but you feel a bit defeated.  As I described to my dad its like being up 3-0 in a baseball game in the 9th, then the closer comes in to blow the save and ties the game at 3-3.  I am not going to lie, it was hard to see him that Saturday evening again even knowing that the doctors and nurses told us that he would be back on the oxygen again at some point.  You see so much progress for weeks in a row, and then a bump in the road can hit you hard as parents.  

I was a bit tentative on what to expect this morning for Father's Day, but we did have a good father's day this afternoon together.  I was able to hold him for over an hour and he absolutely loved it and so did I.  In my heart, he is a fighter and you can only sit and imagine what it will be like when he is home.  Some more good news is that he has been handling feeds very well, and is 3lbs 10oz!  Today I noticing that his cheeks are getting a little chubby, and we are hoping for the 4lb award later on this week!  Also, there is a good chance he will be coming out of the incubator and back into a crib again this week and hopefully for good this time.  

I am hoping I got everyone caught up and now its time to get some sleep so I can wake up early to try to be at work at 6am so I can continue to see Landon every day (have not missed a day yet).  I go down around lunchtime at work so I can try to miss the rush hour traffic.  Over the past few weeks I think I have mastered every back road around the Schuylkill Expressway too.  I just want to send a big thanks to everyone for their support and I think we have reached over 4000 hits on the blog.  We are hoping our story can help inspire others going through a similar experience.  I read today 1 in 10 babies are born premature which seemed unbelievable.

Everyone have a great night and here's to a great week ahead for Landon!   

Our Little Fighter - 16 days and counting

We have been so very blessed over the past several days with Landon's continued progress in the most positive direction.  After what seemed to be my worst night (outside of my re-admittance to the hospital) emotionally this past Friday, we had the most beautiful day on Saturday filled with so much love at our shower followed by the most exciting visit with Landon later that night.

I am still soaking everything in from our shower and will dedicate another post specifically to that at a later date.  In its simplest forms, it was amazing and the team behind me (my mom and sisters, Lauren and Liz) are rock stars!  I cannot even begin to articulate my emotions and gratitude to them, along with everyone else, for making Landon's celebration of life so incredibly special to us.  So... more to come as I continue to savor those moments!

As the fun-filled afternoon of the celebration winded down, Lance and I were so eager to begin our trek down to Penn to see our little boy.  Little did we know that while I was opening up all of the generous presents for our little guy, Landon was getting feisty and continued to pull out his CPAP (respiratory tube). Perhaps it may have been at the exact moment I broke down in tears after seeing the beautiful gift of the Willow Tree "New Life" Statue... hmm, one will only know, but wouldn't that be something! Due to his determination to begin to breathe normally, the nurses decided to transition him to a regular oxygen tube around 4pm on Saturday.  When we arrived, we were so shocked to see his handsome little face - exactly what we needed after a long week!  He is still getting some oxygen support, but each day they continue to monitor it and reduce the level of pressure that is needed (over the weekend he was at 5% and today he was brought down to 2%).

We also had a few more exciting surprises on Saturday night, which included his first bath time from mommy, mommy's first time getting peed on, his first time wearing a little t-shirt and a night full of his beautiful wide-opened eyes!  Daddy got some extra cuddle time, too!

Proud Papa Moment! Melts my heart! :)

No this is not a ginormous, over-sized binky, just a teeny-tiny baby!

The white t-shirt and blue jean look is going to be so cute on him one day, but for now he will be swimming in the preemie-sized clothes. C'mon weight gain!

In addition to our recent joyful visits, I have also found great support at Penn through the nurses, Donna the Lactation Consultant, and other NICU mommies.  There is the sweetest girl I met yesterday who just began her journey 3 days ago when she delivered her twins at 24 weeks.  Her little boy did not survive, but her little girl is fighting on weighing just over 1 pound and getting all the rest she can to continue to grow.  I cannot even fathom what she is going through having just lost a child, but she has been so inspiring with how positive and joyful her outlook is on life - such a strong, beautiful woman.  I am enjoying getting to know her and laughing over the memories of my first several pathetic pumping sessions as she is going through that now. 

A few of the babies closest to Landon in his nursery have been discharged or are on their way home shortly.  The two that were recently discharged were in the NICU for 12 and 30 days, both of which were technically born at "full-term" at about 37-39 weeks.  The little girl next to us is on her way home this week and we cannot be happier for her family as she has had a long stay thus far - she had lost her twin sibling as well.  She is the cutest thing and has such a loving family.  Despite the discharges, the nursery is still filling up as 3 more were admitted into our nursery in the past week.  Penn's NICU can hold up to 45 babies and they have been hoovering around the 35-40 mark since we have been there.  Although each of our individual situations are different, it is crazy how none of us had ever pictured that this is what the end of our pregnancy and the beginning of our parenthood would be like.

With my time at the hospital, I have been doing a lot of research on premature babies and reading various articles, blogs, etc.  I found that these two sources have a vast amount of informative articles as well as the emotional healing type stories as well.  The writing is superb as it truly captures the experiences in the NICU without me having to put it down into words.

http://www.preemiebabies101.com/
http://www.peekabooicu.net/

Also on my "downtime", I have been trying to figure out how we can celebrate Lance's first Father's Day too!  I am excited with what I have come up with at this point, considering that I thought I was going to be in the clear until next year!  Landon just knew that he has the greatest daddy in the world, so great that he couldn't wait to meet him!  And so I will leave you with this...

Like Father, Like Son...

"hey there, ladies!"

Packin' on the Pounds!

We've enjoyed the last few days with Landon's steady progress.  He definitely has some spunk as he is very active - he often tries to pull out the feeding tube and the respiratory tube.  He kicks and throws his arms around and his cry resembles the sheep in our backyard when they 'baa'.

Over the last few days Landon has made great progress with his oxygen as they have been reducing the amount of pressure he needs through the respiratory tube.  We are hoping he will be strong enough to come off of the tube over the next week or two.   His feedings are continuing to improve as well as his sugar levels are more steady on his own; therefore he does not need to system monitoring to control how long his feedings last.  A huge milestone that just took place today is Landon's weight - he is slowing packin' on the pounds!  He now weighs 3 pounds, which is above his original birth weight!  His daily goals at the hospital have been to continue to grow and to stay off of the jaundice lights (which he has been able to achieve over the last two days, too).  He is making remarkable progress and is making us proud every day!

With the progress continuing throughout the week, it has allowed me to slowly build excitement for the baby shower taking place tomorrow.  My mom and sister, Lauren, arrived last night and my sister, Liz, flew in from Cali this morning.  It is nice to have them visiting us for the preparation of the party and of course their company too!  My mom and I started with some cleaning last night and today they have been busy with prepping the decorations, outdoor tent/tables/chairs, and getting the food set up.  They have been doing a fabulous job and everything is looking great!

I've never been to a baby shower when the mom wasn't pregnant anymore, but I guess we will march to the beat of our own drums.  It will be exciting regardless because now we can show him off with the pictures that we have of him already and to celebrate his early arrival!

Landon had another new visitor today as he met his Aunt Liz for the first time!  She was able to sit beside me during our kangaroo time.  And towards the end of our visit Landon was so curious and was peeking at everything - its always so exciting to see him with his eyes open.  His eyes were open the widest we have seen them so far and he kept them open for a long time as well.  It was so hard to leave his side with him being as alert as he was!

Welp, better get back to some house work for the party tomorrow... I am looking forward to seeing everyone and having a beautiful day!

Our handsome little guy checking us out today!  We think his eyes resemble mine, but are still not certain what color they are - green or blue for sure!

The sign says it all! :)

Squiggly Worm!

Today was my first day driving to the hospital by myself as Lance has returned back to work.  It was nice to be driving again after being chauffeured around for the last week.  Due to some traffic on 76, I decided to take the more scenic route along Kelly Drive - I couldn't help but think how I can't wait until we are the ones on the trails with the stroller in tow.  Our day will come though!

The past three days we have had the most spectacular nurse caring for Landon.  Her name is Lyn and she makes us feel right at home.  She has the sweetest way of handling Landon and she baby-talks to him with every touch.  She put a sign up on his incubator with his goals for the day, which is typically to tolerate his feeds and to grow.  She also refers to him as "the boss" and has even noted "master Landon" on his incubator sign - I hope this doesn't go to his head by the time he is discharged though!

Lyn has been very hands-on with us as well during our visits.  She has allowed us to be more involved during Landon's "cluster-care" times, which take place around his feeds (every 3 hours).  During this time all of his vitals are checked, we change his diaper, spend special bonding time with kangaroo care and change his bedding.  Lyn has also been very informative to us as well.  Despite how many times we ask for updates or how many questions pop up during our visits, she is always so kind in her delivery and makes sure that we understand.  She is also very fun and sweet just to chat with as well.  We are keeping our fingers crossed that she will end up being a primary nurse for Landon during his stay at Penn.  (The other nurses have been great as well, but Lyn is just extra special to us at this point.)

Most of my visit today was spent with Landon during kangaroo time for about 2 hours during his feed.  His feeds are now controlled by a monitor system in order to extend the length of time to balance his glucose levels throughout the day.  His feeds previously only took about 15 minutes, but they noticed his sugars would bounce throughout the day, so they adjusted him to this routine.  It seems to work best and we think that this is also why he is succeeding well and tolerating his feeds.  He is now up to about 24ml each feed (when he arrived last Sunday he started with 3ml).  The PICC line was removed last night, which was an excellent milestone due to the progress of his feeds.  The PICC line is basically an IV of additional nutrition (lipids, sugar, etc) in order to keep him growing.  They will now add additional calories to my breastmilk in order to keep him growing at the appropriate rate.  I found it interesting to learn that a baby his size only needs about 100-200 calories a day.

Kangaroo time is always the highlight of my visits with our little guy.  Today he was quite active - he kept peeking at the world and staring at his mommy and daddy.  When open, his eyes are so big but it still hard to tell what color his eyes are.  They look green to me, which makes sense because that is the color of mine and Lance's eyes too.  Landon was also a squiggly worm today too.  It amazes me how strong he is already at 1 week (31 weeks).  He constantly moves his arms and legs - he was even lifting his head up and leaning it back.  He is always able to settle down calmly during our kangaroo care though as it is most comforting to him.  As soon as our time was up he began to cry as he was heading back into the incubator - he really feels most comfortable resting on my chest.  I love feeling his legs move around and the taps of his fingers during this time too - I guess they are right when they say there is just as much benefit for mom as for baby during kangaroo care as it always seems to melt my heart!

We are finding that the more time we are spending with him the more we miss him at home too.  It is an odd feeling to be at home knowing you have a baby, but the baby not being in your care.  We are counting the days until we can bring him home!  Hunter is even getting excited too!  Lyn made us a special care package to take home tonight for Hunter - it was two blankets that Landon slept in all day (he even peed on one).  When I came home today I let Hunter sniff the blankets - he was so excited and curious, but I could tell that he knows that its his baby brother's scent just by the way he was acting.  Hunter had this gentle way about him even as excited as he was - I can't wait to see him and Landon together.

I am looking forward to another day tomorrow with my baby boy, but first let me take a selfie! :)

One Week Today!

We want to wish Landon a Happy One Week Birthday today and it ended up being a great one week visit today!  Mom and Landon are now stable and doing well together which is quite a relief.  As a husband and dad, it was quite difficult to see your family in two hospitals and then being able to juggle between them.  Also, they both needed rest without many visitors in order for them to get better as well and I know that can be difficult for family and friends.  I want to send thanks and appreciation to our family and friends for those that helped during this hectic week.  

It has only been one week but it feels like he is growing up so quickly now.  We have been able to hit a few milestones last week and many more to come this week and next.  We have been able to hold him almost everyday now starting around Wednesday.  We are allowed to hold him usually 1-2 hours a day (Kangaroo Time) and during that time he absolutely loves it.  You can instantly tell he relaxes, gets comfortable, and then falls asleep.  Today, he was quite calm but he constantly wanted to look around and see everyone around him.  A couple days ago I was fortunate to catch him to take a peek at me, and today he couldn't stop looking at his mom today.  We also began changing his diapers as well starting today!  I believe it was the first time LeighAnn and I ever changed a baby's diaper so it was exciting for the first time.  I am sure the novelty will wear off soon enough.  

Some other good things including Landon being at full feeds now.  The doctors initially start off the baby with milk as low as 3ml and then work there way up gradually over the week to 20ml in our case.  He is now on the full 20ml feed and for the most part keeping it down.  If he continues to keep the milk down then he will be able to get his PICC line out (used to supplement nutrition with the milk).  Once he gets his PICC line out, we are allowed to put clothes on the little guy.  I know LeighAnn is quite excited about this and already looking at Carter's preemie clothes to buy for him already.  

Also, his oxygen levels have been great as well and have been on the lowest levels they allow for the past couple days.  If he continues to keep those levels during the week there is a good chance he will have the oxygen mask off by next weekend.  If you have seen some pictures you can tell it covers his face a quite bit so once this comes off he'll look more like your average baby just a bit smaller.  So we are sending prayers and keeping hopeful by this time next week he will have his PICC line out, maybe his oxygen mask, wearing some clothes, and continuing to gain weight!

We want to say from the bottom of our heart we are extremely grateful for the gifts, meals, flowers, and fruit we have received already from friends and family!  LeighAnn and I are amazed by everyone's support, kindness, and love they have given us during this time.  I know a few were asking about the baby registries and have lost the information.  Links below (Please absolutely no obligation here, just for reference):
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/baby/2DGQIVTM589ID/ref=cm_wl_search_1
http://www.toysrus.com/registry/index.jsp?ab=BRU_Header:Utility3:find:Home-Page

Now here are what most people have been waiting for....time for some pictures!!