Feels Good to be Home!

The roller coaster ride continued on Wednesday after the most amazing time with Landon.  Landon was doing great, but I on the other hand was going down hill fast.  Tuesday night I noticed I had a low grade temperature and didn't think anything of it thinking that it was due to the natural recovery of labor.  For the majority of the day on Wednesday I felt just fine as well, but it must have been that my energy was focused all on Landon during our visit to even notice any additional symptoms.

On the way home we were still on an emotional high after holding our little guy for the first time that we stopped at Babies R Us to pick up some additional breast-pumping supplies for at home and at the hospital.  We got home, settled down, and I had a great chat with my cousin Ang too (thanks for the "boobie care" package!).  Shortly after hanging up I realized how worn down I really was.  I was beginning to feel weak and have severe chest and upper abdomen pain, my temperature was also creeping up over 100 as well.  I recalled that the doctors told me at discharged from the delivery that if I experience a fever above 100 to call, so I did and they instructed me to go to the ER right away.

We should have been more prepared this time around, but again not thinking much of it, I didn't pack an overnight bag as I thought we would only be there a few hours tops.

Checking into the ER was quite an experience too as they were about to take me up to Labor & Delivery.  When I heard them dispatch to the upstairs nurse team saying that they are bringing me up for labor, I had to let them know that I had already delivered on Sunday.  They were utterly confused, which I didn't have the patience for at the time due to me feeling like my heart was going to explode out of my chest.  The nurse tried to laugh it off, which didn't make it any better for me and in hindsight I feel bad about the short fuse that I had as I know that their job isn't easy.

After finally settling into the ER room, the doctors initially weren't sure what was wrong due to the symptoms that I was having - fever, chest/abdomen pain, shortness of breath, coughing, and on top of it all my blood pressure was through the roof bouncing around in the 180's/100's ranges.  They performed all sorts of tests on me over the next few hours beginning with an ultrasound of all of my organs followed by an x-ray of my chest and lastly a CAT scan in order to test for pulmonary embolisms (blood clots to the lungs).  All of the tests came back with minimal answers so they decided to solve for my outrageously high blood pressure first so they gave me a few doses of medicine to control my numbers, but because my heart rate was low they needed to investigate further so they consulted with the OB/GYN team upstairs.

What seemed to be like an angel from above, who shows up but Doctor Dennis herself!  We were so relieved to know that we would also be in her care.  She reviewed my exam results and decided to check my reflexes and declared very seriously that I was going upstairs immediately and staying overnight.  Her response was due to my wild reflexes as that indicated that I was at a high risk of experiencing seizures. I was not emotionally prepared to stay overnight as I knew that wouldn't allow me to see Landon the next day.  It was very difficult to come to the realization that I needed to focus on myself to get better.  Lance and I were both scared, but knew that now that we were back in Dr. Dennis' care that everything was going to be alright. 

After going upstairs, Dr. Dennis let me know that my placenta results came back with an acute infection and that I had undiagnosed preeclampsia, which was now in full force.  Preeclampsia is a form of high blood pressure and excess protein in the urine, which left untreated it can lead to serious even fatal complications for both the mother and the baby.  The only cure of preeclampsia is to deliver your baby, so as I mentioned in my first post, it is clear that our little Landon is a smarty-pants and knew he had to make a run for it on his own!

I was put on a strong magnesium sulfate drip for 24 hours in order to minimize my risk for seizures, stroke and heart attack, while we were working to get my blood pressure under control.  The magnesium sulfate made me feel so groggy it was like I had the flu.  The flu-like symptoms literally forced me to get some rest and I'm pretty sure I slept for the next 30 out of 36 hours.  The nursing staff was wonderful as always and we even shared some laughs.  After one of the shift changes, my new nurse wanted to bathe me and I guess after recently seeing how long my dad went without a bath in the hospital I got concerned that she wanted to bathe me because I smelled... I asked her and she nearly lost it from laughing so hard!  Apparently you get much better service being on the labor and delivery floor!

My blood pressure was continuing to bounce around in normal ranges and then would spike to the high ranges again.  The nurses began to realize that it was usually when I had company or was talking about Landon when my blood pressure would spike again.  I had a wonderful visit with my cousin Dana, but after a while the nurses nearly kicked her out because I needed to get my blood pressure in control again.  Dana bought Landon the cutest nautical footies and mittens, but I couldn't help but laugh at how big the mittens are compared to how tiny his little hands are now!  He will just need to grow into them over time!

Shortly after Dana left I got a visit from Dr. Dennis, who always seems to magically appear at the most appropriate times.  She just wanted to check in as she was about to head out at the end of her shift.  She filled me in on a sweet moment she had with Lance when he went up to her and gave her the biggest hug to thank her for taking care of his little family.  She said he melted her heart and after having a night like she did, it was exactly what she needed at that moment.  Another reminder how I am the luckiest girl in the world to have him in my life!

Later that night I had finished the magnesium drip and could have been discharged, but the nurse staff decided to keep me another night in order to monitor my blood pressure since it hadn't leveled out just yet.  It was tough to be away from Lance and Landon for another night, but it was the best thing to do for myself.  Lance began to tease me that I was trying to be like Landon by stealing all of the attention and by being hooked up to so many monitors!  Any way to find humor in the situation is what we needed at this point as it was so tough for the both of us.

After about 36 hours being admitted into the hospital again I was finally discharged this morning and was able to head back home.  My blood pressure has begun to stabilize and I am also now on blood pressure medicine.  Despite having to go through all of this, it was a blessing in disguise to take a step back and a reminder that taking care of myself is the best possible gift that I can give to Landon.

Needless to say I cannot wait until tomorrow to go visit my little bubba! :)

Exhausted "big brother" - he has no idea what he is in for!

Kangaroo Time!

Wednesday, May 28 - We made our way to the hospital early in order to beat the rush hour traffic into the city and of course to spend more time with Landon during his 9am and 12pm feeding sessions.  When we arrived the nurse let us know that they have removed his umbilical line which was excellent news to us because that meant... Kangaroo Time! 

We got to hold our little boy for the first time and it was the most amazing experience!  As soon as he was settled, it was like he could sense that it was me and he quickly grew comfortable to be beat of my heart and the rise of my chest.  During this time we were able to get our first family photo together and hear him cry for the last few minutes of our kangaroo session.

My Little Gemini

It is hard to imagine that just a few days ago I was picking up 3 new maternity shirts along with a maternity bathing suit (thank goodness the tags are still on them, now if only I can find the receipts), hanging the finishing touches in the nursery, having fun during our maternity photo session, and prepping for a MDW gathering at our house.  It is still surreal to me that Landon had bigger plans for us this past weekend than we could have ever imagined.

We still don't (and may never) know what triggered Landon's early arrival.  We didn't experience any major hiccups or concerns throughout my pregnancy.  In fact, I was looking forward to my 30 week appointment that was supposed to take place this morning.  I was looking forward to seeing Dr. Dennis again and asking her about my recent spike in weight gain over the last week.  While concerned at the time seeing the scale creep up so quickly every day, it turns out the weight gain had a major impact on Landon's current stability.  The suspicion about the early delivery is that my placenta may have had an infection and there may have been two reasons why we went into labor: my body was beginning to reject the pregnancy or Landon knew he needed to get the hell out of there!  I like to think it was his smart intuition that led him to entering the world 10 weeks early - he must have been prepping the last week by storing up the extra energy for his fight!

For those who know me, I am a proud Libra and am often intrigued by zodiac signs and the occasional daily horoscope.  While waiting for the CHOP transport service down to Penn Hospital I needed to know what our little Landon's horoscope was for his birthday and it couldn't have been more fitting:

"Step up and make the first move -- your initiative is almost sure to be rewarded..... all you need to do is get the ball rolling and you should find success."

Throughout the last few days he has certainly taken that approach and has been such a trooper.  Although we had many scares and tremendous concerns, the progress he made within the last 24 hours has been remarkable. 

Today began with a 4am phone call from Leah, one of his night shift nurses, letting us know that they have successfully removed the breathing tube and have inserted a newer technology of the CPAP, which provides a few extra support breaths through the nose ventilator to support his respiratory needs.  This was a huge win as just the other night his lung collapsed, which had us in a panic.  We were too excited after receiving the good news that we hopped out of bed right away to make our way into the city before the morning rush hour. 

Throughout the day Landon was very stable with strong vitals and successful feeding sessions.  He has been a very active boy so far (even in my belly), but today it seemed like he was able to get steady rest.  Landon and I had a special bonding moment today as at one point he began flailing his arms, legs and letting out the most precious little cry.  We hadn't heard him cry since being delivered and it immediately melted our hearts.  I suppose my mother instincts are starting to kick in as I quickly opened the side panel to the incubator and rested my firm hand over his legs.  Instantaneously he stopped crying, immediately settled down and was back to sleep in no time.  That moment was such an amazing, magical feeling - it is indescribable how quickly and powerful our love grows for him every day! 

The day ended recently with another victory when Lance called into the nurse staff prior to their shift change for another update.  Landon had an ultrasound performed today on his brain in order to test for brain bleeding, which is very typical in various grade levels for preemies this young.  This was the big test to determine whether or not Landon would be susceptible to any long term disabilities or developmental issues and we were anxiously waiting the results.  We were hopeful that his results would show a grade level 1 or 2 at best, but the call revealed that there are no signs of any brain bleeding and we couldn't be any happier!  This was just icing on the cake today after the successful day we had during our visit.

On that note (and not to jinx any further progress) I will leave it at that and begin praying for many more victories tomorrow!  I am incredibly thankful for all of the overwhelming support from all of our family and friends, the phenomenal doctors and nurses taking care of us, the visits from our parents and sisters, and the conversations with the other NICU mommy friends I am meeting in the lactation lounge.  Most importantly, I am thankful for my amazing husband with his constant care, attention and love through one of the most difficult experiences we are sharing together.  Landon and I are extremely blessed to have him in our lives.  Here's to another day closer to being able to hold and kiss our little guy!

A Memorable Memorial Day Weekend

Welcome Everyone to Baby Landon Joseph Gawel's blog!  I know we have left some friends and family over the past few days in limbo of our family situation, and we decided today it would be a good idea to start a blog of Landon's journey so this way extended family and friends could stay in touch with us as Landon continues his fight.  We appreciate all the support already pouring into our lives as we begin this new journey with Landon.  So I know some of you are curious in what in the world has been happening...so let's get started and get you up to date...

It starts Saturday evening as LeighAnn and I settled down to watch a movie (The Secret Life of Walter Mitty...movie is ok, not as great as i would have thought) after finishing grocery shopping for the Memorial Day BBQ we had planned with some of our friends.  Earlier in the day, we had received a free pregnancy photo shoot from our wedding photographer!  

Once the movie ended, I started watching the Miami Heat vs Indiana Pacers Game 3 while LeighAnn started to fall asleep.  All of a sudden LeighAnn awoke out of nowhere around 915am to find a small gush of water come out onto her sweatpants.  We were not that worried because we thought maybe the baby pushed on her bladder and that she might have peed a bit thinking no big deal.  We talked to the hospital nurse and they told us it was not much of concern because there was no blood but to keep an eye on it.  As 20-30 minutes passed by, we noticed that she kept leaking a bit and began to think that we should go to the hospital just to get checked out just in case for nothing else but for peace of mind.  I did not even bother putting any contacts in, just kept my pajamas and glasses on.  So we took some time, gathered our belongings, let the dog out...and began our journey to the hospital.  

Nothing was unusual about the drive to the hospital, LeighAnn was in no pain whatsoever.  I think we arrived around 1030-11am or so, I dropped LeighAnn off in the Phoenixville ER entrance as I parked the car.  One of the paramedics had asked her if she was about to pop so they could get her a wheelchair, but she insisted no it was just a checkup or so we thought.  We headed up to the 2nd floor maternity wing to find the nurses waiting for us and gave us room number 1.  LeighAnn was happy to see Dr. Dennis who had become LeighAnn's favorite OBGYN doctor during the pregnancy checkups.  She started with a ultrasound then exam and we heard the heart beating just fine.  We waited with anticipation on what she had to say, she was pretty quiet for the most part and as she removed her gloves the next words out of here mouth I will never forget.  "Here's the deal, your water broke."  Then promptly afterwards let us know what to expect and what the next course of action would be.  

Little did I know as it turns out, a baby can survive in the womb when the mother's water has broken for days to several weeks.  I even read babies staying in the womb up to 6-7 weeks when the water has broken.  So the "plan" as of 12:30am was to get LeighAnn on bed rest and transferred to the Lankenau Hospital where we were expecting her to be there for a few weeks.  The reason was because Phoenixville was only a Level 2 NICU certified to care for babies from 32 weeks on and since LeighAnn was at 30 weeks a Level 3 NICU can care for babies 24 weeks and older.  Obviously it was not ideal, but seemed this would be more of an inconvenience rather than anything else. We started thinking on how this was logistically going to work with our jobs and our dog Hunter while she was in the hospital for that long on bed rest.  An ambulance had been sent to come pick us up so we could be transferred, but as the minutes ticked on it was noticeable how much uncomfortable LeighAnn began to feel while her legs consistently shook. 

At 1am, the ambulance finally arrived and the paramedic came up with the stretcher about to enter the room.  The doctor wanted to do one last checkout on LeighAnn before they let her go and again this was one of those moments that I will never forget.  The doctor must have looked at LeighAnn for maybe 2 seconds and said "Honey, you are not going anywhere!  You are going to have a baby tonight!"  For most people, those words are filled with nerves but with happy excitement and anticipation around 40 weeks.  Not for us...one word...Fear.  We knew the baby needed to be in the womb for 10 more weeks.  These were some of the questions that came to my mind...Can the baby even survive?  What issues or disabilities will the baby have if he survived?  Will he even be alive when delivered?  Will he be crying or even breathing?  

I have to mention this because my wife is a rock star!  My wife was in full blown labor at this point with contractions and everything else.  We had not yet even taken our baby classes yet in the hospital.  She asked for some pain medicine but we all knew it was too late at this point, she was going to have to go all drug-free.  An hour later on Sunday May 25th at exactly 2am, our baby boy, Landon Joseph, was born weighing just a tad under 3lbs and at a length of 16 inches.  I know this is clinche but his crying was the most beautiful sound in the world especially not knowing what to expect with a baby this small.  As soon as he was born, he was immediately taken away from us so he could be hooked up to a ventilator for breathing support.  

What were minutes seemed like hours to find out the status of our baby boy, and then finally someone came in to tell us the news that Landon was in a stable state.  We asked a million questions but the good news was that he doing ok for himself at this point.  We were also informed that we would have to get him transferred to a Level 3 NICU and it was determined he was going to have to make his first ride on 422 and the Schuylkill expressway to one of the CHOP network hospitals and in this case the Pennsylvania Hospital.  We were able to go see him at the Phoenixville NICU all hooked up in the incubator.  It was one of those bitter sweet moments where it was absolutely awesome to see him but we couldn't pick him up or really even touch him too much.  

Around 8am, Landon's luxurious ambulance and transport squad came to pick him up for the ride.  You talk about a job that makes a difference...this transport squad was amazing.  There was a male driver, one male icu nurse and one female icu nurse.  They were absolutely incredible, they basically have a tricked out portable nicu incubator on wheels with hydraulics and everything.  It took about an hour to get him re-hooked up on the portable incubator and then situated in the ambulance.  Then we were off and we followed right behind the ambulance.  We're lucky it was a Sunday morning and there was not that much traffic but every moment on the road felt torturous.  Everyone arrived safely at the Penn Hospital and he was re-hooked into his new bed.  

At this point LeighAnn and I had been up 28 hours straight, but I think adrenalin was still kicking in.   Landon was hooked into his new incubator and his oxygen levels, heart rate, and all the other levels were doing outstanding.  The nursing team had decided to remove his breathing tube already, and to be put on a CPAP (basically just giving oxygen in his nostrils instead of a tube down his throat) and was given a binky as well.  Everything seemed great and we knew we had to get some rest because we were physically exhausted and had been up for 32-33 hours at this point.  (Big shout out to our friend Val for helping taking care of Hunter during the day!!)

We arrived home around 5pm, we started to settle in and I showered, and even feel asleep for a couple hours.  I awoke a couple hours later to Hunter barking at the breast pumping machine because he was quite confused on what was going on (he is now used to it now, even fell asleep tonight while it was on).  Around 8:30pm that night, we got news that one of Landon's lungs had collapsed, he had to be given medicine and his breathing tube had to be put back in.  It made sleeping for both of that night more difficult especially on how well he was doing to find we had our first setback with our new little guy.  

This morning (Monday morning) we awoke early and headed down to the hospital to see how he was doing.  We were still a bit worried because of his news from the previous night.  The nurse also had mentioned his breathing was still higher than the normal ranges.  As the day progressed and with more rest, Landon seemed to be doing just fine.  He ended getting another round of x-rays on his chest and they came back great.  He also got to have his first feeding from his mom which included some breast milk fed in through his feeding tube and some cotton swabbed into his mouth!  Also his resting rate had improved into normal ranges again.  

We are quite excited for what the next milestones will be for Landon, with the next milestone being able to breath without the breathing tube onto the CPAP again.  We are hoping to bring that news to you this week!  

Lastly, Landon, LeighAnn and I (even Hunter!) want to say thank you to everyone who is keeping us in their prayers!  We have a tremendous support system around us and we appreciate everyone going out of their way a bit to help us!  We love you all!

Welcome again and stay tuned for more updates!! (some from LeighAnn as well)

Attached below is a picture of Landon during his first attempt off the breathing tube,  I think he has Mom's eyes and she says he may have my nose!