Happy 3 Months!

We can hardly believe it, but our little Landon turned 3 months on Monday!

Preemies are often referred to two different ages that help track their developmental growth: their "actual" age (date of birth) and their "corrected" or "adjusted" age (due date). Although Landon just turned 3 months, his adjusted age is only 3 weeks old. We have been quite impressed with Landon's strength and determination to develop into the little boy he is becoming. He is now over 3x the size of what he was when he was born, weighing in at 9lbs 6oz and 20.5 inches long!

Here are some of his 3 month highlights...

LANDON LOVES...
... tummy time
... bath time
... getting his toes licked by Hunter
... dancing with mommy & daddy
... being pampered during his baby massage
... his MyPal Scout and his Sleep Sheep
... looking at ceiling fans and lights

LANDON CAN...
... hold his head up while on his belly
... roll from belly to back
... track toys/objects with his eyes

We are looking forward to seeing him smile, hearing him laugh, and watching him grab his toys... these are the next milestones that seem to be near!

Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk... Oh, But I Did!

I always thought I was a decent multi-tasker, but I didn't understand the true concept until we settled in at home with Landon.  It has been such an experience learning how to juggle everything, especially when Lance is at work during the day.  The biggest task and possibly one of the most important one has been the biggest target of multi-tasking in its prime... pumping.  I am usually strapped up while cleaning bottles, feeding Landon, brushing my teeth, eating (sometimes cooking too)... I feel like I have really become the pro, but every once in a while there is a slip up or minor spill that will really put me in check.

During our NICU stay, pumping was like my saving grace.  As difficult, painful and frustrating it was at times, it was the only thing that I could physically do by myself to care for Landon since his birth.  It kept me sane while waking up every few hours in the middle of the night to ensure that I could bring a supply into the hospital the next day for Landon.  The middle of the night pumping sessions also gave me a chance to continuously check in on Landon by calling the nurses to check in on every milliliter he had at his feeds while keeping my fingers crossed that they would tell me no brady's and minor desats.  Often times a heart to heart with his primary took place as well.  My pumping times then were mostly uninterrupted, which was great because all the research and articles suggest that you need to take a break during this time in order to maintain a good supply,  but what a different story it is here at home.  Take a break???... ain't nobody got time for that!  Which leads me to the title of this post...

It started out as a normal day with me managing all the nighttime feedings so Lance can get as much sleep as possible to be productive at work.  Usually after Landon's morning feed I will still kangaroo with him on my chest as we both rest our eyes.  Feeding, changing diapers and cuddling always trumps when I need to pump, but as the time passed I realized it had been much too long since I last pumped.  So I set Landon in his mamaroo, Hunter was snoring in his crate (he seems to be more tired than Lance and I combined), and Kelly & Michael were on TV... the ideal scenario to have a relaxing pumping session.  So there I go pumping away in a daze from the previous nights exhaustion.

After a short while I knew my time was almost up as Landon was starting to squirm, but I tried to hold off as long as I could to get a good session in.  I began to call it a wrap, which is where it all went wrong... very quickly!  As I was removing the pump it became very apparent that the bottle wasn't secure as the bottle with about 110 mls (almost 4 oz) fell and poured all over my lap!  I quickly fumbled to pick it up and sighed after realizing I only saved about 60 mls (2 oz), but at least I was able to save some of this liquid gold!  I tried to compose myself despite my soaking wet lap and placed the bottle on the coffee table... well the terror continued as our coffee table made of slate tiles doesn't have a completely smooth surface and the bottle toppled over again... my hands began to shake at this nightmare and I was finally able to steady it on the table.  While this is all taking place, Landon began to cry and Hunter woke up to figure out what all the commotion was... I may or may not have let out some explicit phrases as well which probably drew more attention to this disaster.  So I quickly removed the other pump with my quivering hands and what do you know that one topples on the uneven surface as well!  Now I am desperately fumbling, Landon is screaming, and the dog is now at my feet trying to lick it all up!  I rush to just grab both bottles, run them to the kitchen to put them on the safe counter, and sprint back to find the biggest disaster of spilt milk... you know the cereal commercials of the kid trying to pour some milk out of a gallon container into their bowl and it just goes all over the table and floor... well that was a spitting image of what took place in our living room during what I thought would be a "relaxing" pumping session!

As I was cleaning everything up, my hands were still shaking in disbelief and I was a sobbing mess!  This was hard earned milk, just wasted... and now the saying, "don't cry over spilled milk" has a whole new meaning to me as an exclusively pumping mom!

Happy Due Date!

August 3rd will always have a special meaning to us.  Today should have marked Landon's anticipated due date, yet he is already 10 weeks old. 

Looking back on our journey to get to where we are today I will always cherish this experience and will always hold all of its memories so close to my heart... from his first fighting days to the first time holding him, our first diaper change and night-time bath routine, falling asleep to the sound of his CPAP during kangaroo care, feeling the first grasp of his fingers, seeing his eyes open for the first time, seeing his first outfit, growing out of his preemie clothes, all of the 3am phone calls checking on him while pumping, finding friendly faces in the lactation lounge or the isolette nearby, our primary nurses, my supportive and loving husband, participating in rounds, anticipating the results from every blood-draw/ultrasound/xray, having my good days, feeling like my body failed him, feeling robbed out of the pregnancy that I just had begun to embrace, feelings of hope, every gram, every milliliter, every tear, every smile, watching him grow, seeing his strength, knowing he is a fighter and above all believing in him and knowing that he is perfect.

This experience has been like no other, but I wouldn't change a single thing.  We are so blessed to have witnessed a miracle grow right before our eyes with such an amazing transformation.  Landon has overcome a remarkable journey in his own life and I hope that one day he will know how special he truly is.  We are so blessed with our healthy baby boy and we look forward to every day, every new milestone, every new memory.

So as we have finally made it to his full-term date, I want to take this moment to thank you all again for the tremendous amount of support we have been so fortunate to receive.  We have received an overflowing amount of love and encouragement from everyone near and far, from the closest of friends and family to those that we haven't spoken to in years.  It amazes me to this day how blessed we are to have you all in our lives.  So thank you once again for all of the prayers, positive thoughts, calls, texts, visits, meals, cookies, flowers, cards, etc., and of course for following our blog!

So with that said, Happy 40 Weeks our little Landon!  There is more love for you in this world than you know! xoxo!

Settling in at Home!

I can't believe it has been so long since our last post... I guess time has gotten away from us since Landon has been home!  Between all the snuggle sessions, bottle feeding, pumping, diaper changes, sleeping, etc., I guess the last thing on our mind is updating the blog.  We have definitely been taking advantage of all of the snuggle sessions now that he is in our home away from the tiny hospital crib, wires and monitors!  Landon is now spoiled because of it and when he cries 9 out of 10 times its because he just wants to be held so let's just say we are catching up for all the snuggling we lost out on while he was in the NICU. :)

I guess I will pick up where Lance left off... I'll try to be quick!

The night before Landon was discharged I decided to stay the night in the NICU's mothers room so I can have a night of "practice" with his care throughout the night.  The room was nothing special, but it was incredibly special to me that I was able to care for my son through the night for the first time of his life.  Just knowing that I was there under the same roof was an amazing feeling.  That night Landon had his last bath and final weigh in at the hospital... he tipped the scale at 6 pounds, which was another huge milestone!

The next morning I headed home in order to make our final trek to the hospital together to bring home our little guy.  I think Lance would agree with me that our discharge day certainly ranks up there to be one, if not the best day of our lives, even above our wedding day and the day he was born!  We were so anxious and excited, but were filled with nerves.  It was also such a bittersweet feeling as the NICU became our second home and the nurses and other mommies became our second family.  To leave all of their support and what grew to be the comforting sounds of the monitors was somewhat scary... "this is it", "can we do this", "will he be okay" were phrases on repeat in our heads all day long.  Lance was also trying to stay calm to get ready for our first drive with Landon on the Schuylkill for our final drive from the hospital.  I have to admit that I still to this day have not been the driver with Landon in the car just yet!  Nonetheless, we made it and we are thriving here at home!

I have to mention this as it is so fitting that we ended our NICU journey being discharged by another Dr. Dennis!  Things like this really make be believe that the world works in mysterious ways.  To make it even better, they looked very similar to one another and even sounded alike too!

We've had a few doctor's appointments since being home too.  We had our "newborn" checkup at the pediatrician two days after discharge and had to return a week later for a weight check to ensure that he was steadily gaining weight with the transition at home.  We also needed to get a blood test for Landon to check on his hemoglobin and reticulocyte counts again... we STILL need to get this done as we've been to Quest twice now and the results have come back with an insufficient amount.  The poor little thing has gotten his heel pricked and had the technicians squeeze blood out of his heel twice without any luck.  We are heading to Phoenixville Hospital's NICU this week in order to get this taken care of as we think they will be more equipped to handle an infants blood-draw.  Landon also had another eye exam as his retinas are still forming.  They are still not quite where they need to be yet, but it is typical due to his prematurity so we have another appointment later this month and we are hoping that his retinas and blood vessels will be fully formed by then.

We've also been enjoying many strolls in the neighborhood, especially with the incredible weather we had last week!  The first few days it was a bit too bright for Landon, but unfortunately these shades were still too big!  I think Landon can double as Carlos from the Hangover...

Hunter-boy is adjusting very well to being the older brother.  He absolutely adores Landon and would do anything for another chance to lick Landon's little feet.  He is so well behaved with Landon and we couldn't be more proud of him either!

Since we've been home, we've had a few more milestones take place too... Landon celebrated his two month birthday, he began to lift his head on his own and drove right passed the 7 pound mark!

Unfortunately this is the best picture I got of him with his blocks - the poor little guy was exhausted from the photoshoot we did!

He is so strong already! He loves to look all around and especially likes looking at the ceiling fan and skylights in the living room!

I can't even believe how big he is now! His cheeks are too cute!

I could go on forever, but I will save some for next time! xoxo!

Day 50 and one step closer!

Hi everyone!  Happy Monday and I hope everyone had a great weekend! Today is Landon's 50th day in the ICN at the Pennsylvania Hospital!  It was also a memorable and happy day today as we found Landon is currently scheduled to be discharged from the hospital on Wednesday!!! 

I still cannot believe Landon could be home this week, and it still feels surreal that we are having our little guy home finally after seven plus weeks in the hospital!   He has held up his bargain so far and has fought his way doubling in size, having stable vitals, and drinking milk like a champ!  Even though Landon has been doing great after removing his oxygen, the reason we have been sticking around the past couple weeks was because he had to 'master' drinking from his bottle.  Little did we know that would become probably the hardest challenge for Landon and preemies in general.  The hospital is quite the stickler when it comes to feeding times with the babies and they have the right to be because it can become the most stressful part of having a newborn.  You want to make sure they eat so they grow and especially for preemies, they need to make sure they don't choke while breathing!  

Landon is now becoming the 'feeding pro' in the nursery and his cribmates next to him are now just realizing how difficult it is to drink from a bottle.   The hospital requires the babies to feed almost perfect for 5 days consecutively or around 35 feeds in a row.  If a baby brady's (low heartrate), or has a large 'desat' (low o2 levels), then you need to restart the 5 day countdown.  So we have had the countdown restart on us a few times, but Landon has gone Friday through Monday doing great drinking from his bottles so that is why the hospital is planning for Wednesday discharge.  He is up to almost 3 ounces a bottle every 3-4 hours now which is awesome and has been gaining weight quickly as well...he is up to 6 lbs 1oz already (~3 weeks to go to due date too)!  In preparation for coming home, we also chose to have his 2 month vaccinations at the hospital to ensure that he doesn't have any allergic reactions.  We are keeping our fingers crossed that he continues to do well tonight and tomorrow so he can come home....we're very, very close!

Below are some fun-facts from our experience:

• 5,172 miles and counting so far to and from the hospital between LeighAnn and I
• Of the total miles driven....3, 232 miles driven just on the Schuylkill Expressway alone
• Over 172 hours driving to see Landon...and worth every second!
• Over 500 hours between LeighAnn and I at the Pennsylvania Hospital (our second home)
• Over 20 different nurses and 5 doctors that have taken cared of our little guy

Now that our journey is nearing the end of the road at the NICU... we are very, very grateful that our story will have a happy ending!   We will continue to update the blog every so often with progress updates, doctor updates, and developmental milestones.   LeighAnn and I never did exactly explain why we decided to blog.  We decided to 'blog' because we knew in our heart Landon was a fighter from day one, and we wanted to share the experiences and knew our story could help others in a similar situation.  If you remember from a previous blog, 1 in 10 babies are born premature and surprisingly the number is slightly rising.   The chances are that someone reading our blog will know of a co-worker, friend, neighbor or family member that may be going through a similar experience.   We wanted to have the privilege to share our story through the blog to help ease their concerns and fears.     

I also want to take this time to thank every single person out there that has supported us through this experience.  We have been blessed to receive meals, gifts, and messages of support through the past 50 days.  It was amazing to see our friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors help us in a time of need.  Every little thing that someone did for us such as make us a meal, buy Landon a gift, message of encouragement, or just make us smile helped brighten our day just a little bit.  These unselfish acts of kindness go a long way and has opened our eyes even more from this experience.   Landon, LeighAnn and I are not completely sure how we can ever repay our appreciation but we promise to continue to go out of our way to help our friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors in a time of a need.  Everyone in their life needs that extra boost to help them get through some difficult times and all of you have done that for us...we want to say Thank You!!!

We are hoping next blog post will be a fun one with sharing our experiences with Landon at home!!

Here's a few pictures!!  Also, I am hoping to post a small video/collage of our little guy Landon next week.  

  

43 Days and a Light at the End of the Tunnel!

Today marked Landon's 43rd day of life and we cannot believe how far he has come!  This journey has been so surreal for us and we are finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  It has felt like a lifetime, but also has seemed to go by so quickly too... perhaps that's due to the fact that the days have all begun to blur together.  Despite the challenges and obstacles we have faced bringing new life into the world, we are so blessed with Landon and it has been totally worth it all.  With each day getting better, Lance and I are itching to get our little boy home!

Speaking of the days feeling like a blur... I was reviewing the last blog entry to check what milestones were made since then and I can't believe so much has happened since last Sunday!  He is really making great strides and I am beginning to see the difference each day as he continues to grow and get stronger.  So where do I begin to catch up...

Last week we started to discuss getting him transferred back to Phoenixville, but decided to stay put at Pennsylvania Hospital.  In the end, we felt most comfortable there, but it didn't help that the Phoenixville ICN doctor was no longer working there and as of July 1 the hospital would no longer be affiliated with CHOP as they were transferring practices to Dupont down in Delaware.  With those things considered, it definitely weighed our decision to stick around in Philly a bit longer.

Even with our decision to stay, it had almost felt like we experienced a transfer since Landon was moved to the transitional nursery in the ICN on July 1.  The transitional nursery is for babies who are around the 35 gestational week mark and who essentially are no longer considered critical care.  Most of the babies in this nursery are "feeders and growers", with the occasional brady here and there.  This nursery is so calm and quiet compared to our former nursery.  We used to be the calmest baby in the other nursery and now I'm pretty sure Landon's monitor makes the most noise with all of his desats!  It took some getting used to being on the other side of that equation once again, especially now with a whole new group of primary nurses to work with too.

When we first moved to the transitional nursery, Landon was just beginning to experiment with bottle/breast feeding.  He still had the feeding tube in and was only feeding by mouth about 4 times per day.  His first full day in the new nursery, "Master Landon" (as one of our former nurses liked to call him) kept pulling out his feeding tube and began calling the shots like he did with the ventilator and CPAP machines.  The nurses determined he was doing well enough with his "po feedings" (by mouth) that as long as he continued to do so they would keep the feeding tube out.  Sure enough he did and is now eating all of his meals by mouth and is chowing down on about 60 mls per feed!  This is the last picture I took of him with his feeding tube still intact:

A day or so after that, things started to look great as the nurses and doctors were beginning to prep everything of his for discharge.  He had his circumcision performed and had his car seat test.  The car seat test is a measure to make sure that the premature babies can withstand their normal heart-rates, respiratory rates and oxygenation levels in an upright position.  Landon passed... unfortunately not with flying colors, but enough to get by.  We felt like that was it as the nurses were talking like it would be "just days" before going home!  Here is a picture of our tiny nugget getting situated for his car seat test:

Landon was still experiencing some blue-spells during his feedings so after making our way into the holiday weekend we knew it wasn't his time yet.  As each day passed, we saw significant improvement with how he performed while eating.  His blue-spells occurred less frequently and his oxygen saturation rate remained in normal ranges for the better portion of the feeds.  Despite not making it home that weekend, our biggest victory was him hitting the 5 pound mark on the 4th of July! Such a huge milestone for our little 2lb 15oz newborn!

Within the last day, we even got to see some personality of our little guy yesterday when we ran out of fresh breastmilk and the nurses needed to defrost a bottle from the stash I built up in the freezer.  Boy did he not like the defrosted bottle though!  As hungry as he was by showing all of his feeding cues, he would cry and scream and even spit out any of the milk as soon as it touched his lips!  Fortunately enough, it just must've been an odd batch as he finally accepted another bottle later that night (thank goodness because we had just purchased a freezer chest to store all of the milk here at home)!

So back to the hospital we go for another week or so, but all in all, there is finally a light at the end of this journey's tunnel.  We are not sure of the exact timeframe as it is truly up to "Master Landon"... apparently he makes all the rules at the hospital, but boy do we have news for him as that is going to change real quick!  Who am I kidding?!? This little boy has Lance and I wrapped around his tiniest of fingers already! :)

I think I've caught you all up for now... thank you once again for your continued positive thoughts, wishes and prayers!  Keep your fingers crossed as we begin to prepare for Landon's trek home!

One Month Milestones

Landon had a fabulous week this week reaching many milestones and celebrating his one month birthday!  I couldn't help myself by bringing in our blocks to stage a few sleepy pictures with him so I wouldn't miss his first month picture, despite him being in the hospital.

Landon began experimenting with "po feeding" (a NICU term for 'by mouth' - I believe the po origin is Latin).  He really impressed all of us as he was a champ with his bottle feeds.  The first one he only finished about half of his feed (17 out of 34 mls) and since then he's been finishing the full bottles which are now 38 mls.  He is using the bottle about 4 feeds per day as he still requires the feeding tube so he doesn't exert too much energy so that he will continue to gain weight.  Lance and I are still getting the hang of feeding Landon the bottles and burping him afterwards.  In handling a preemie with feeds it can be pretty stressful as he is still hooked up to all of the monitors and he is still working on his coordination of sucking, swallowing, breathing all together.  As if feeding your baby for the first time isn't stressful enough, earlier this week Landon would continue to brady and desat while I was breast and bottle feeding him.  So I've quickly learned to ignore the monitors (to some extent) and purely watch his signals.  This has been a great technique because I am learning his triggers such as the colorization of his skin and his movement during when he begins to stop breathing or just needs a break to catch up a bit. 

In my last post I mentioned a few tests that he would have this week as well.  He did great during all of them and we are so proud of the progress he has made.  The eye exam came back as expected for his gestational age - his eyes are still immature, but there are no signs within the blood vessels and retina that he will have any issues.  He will have continued eye exams every two weeks until he reaches full-term.  Additionally, the brain ultrasound came back very positive... no brain bleeding and all of the structures and formation look strong as well.  He also had a hemoglobin test this week to determine if he has the appropriate amount of reticulocyte in his blood - this test can only be done after 30 days of age as it takes some time for it to show up in the bloodstream.   The reticulocyte is the content that enables him to produce the necessary blood counts on his own and the lack of it is what had caused him to be anemic.  His numbers looked great and in turn we have seen a drastic difference with his anemia this week.  His skin is pinker and he gets feistier when he doesn't like something (like getting his temperature taken, wiping his hiney, or a poopy diaper).  They say he will eventually grow out of the anemia, but due to him having great numbers of the reticulocyte there is no need for a blood transfusion! 

Landon is continuing to pack on the pounds too!  He is now 4 pounds 6 ounces, such a big boy now!  You can really see the difference as he is filling out.  He now has the cutest double chin and has already outgrown most of his preemie clothes!  He wore newborn size clothes last night... he is swimming in it, but nonetheless it is still such a great milestone!  They say that now with his chubby cheeks that he is beginning to look like me... what is that supposed to mean!?!  Just kidding, I think he is actually starting to look more like me too!

 

Landon's primary goals are to feed and grow at this point which is great progress from just a week ago.  Lance and I are starting to discuss the possibility of transferring him back to Phoenixville Hospital again so that he can be closer to home.  This will help significantly to allow more time for us to be there, especially for Lance and especially for me to be there more frequently throughout his feeding times throughout the day.  We are torn with this decision though as we have grown so comfortable with the nursing teams and all of the support and resources that we have at Pennsylvania Hospital.  It will also be bittersweet to leave his primary nurse, Leah.  She has been so amazing and I remember just weeks ago crying to her on the phone checking on his status in the middle of the night and just last night we were chatting about what to do when Landon comes home.  She is so positive and genuinely cares about Landon and even our well-being too! 

Speaking of transferring and possibly being one step closer to discharge... Lance and I went to dinner Thursday night to PF Changs.  It was a nice change from the hospital cafeteria and trying to scrounge up any sort of left overs in the fridge for dinner.  At the end of our meal we opened up the fortune cookies and this is a picture of the one I got.  I am just so hopeful that this is referring to when Landon comes home!

Fingers Crossed!!!